things you own

have you ever stood up straight, commanded yourself to be brave, then fell to your knees crying? this happened to me only one time. i was watering my apple tree, when a small child ran up, and ripped an apple clean from it. as he sprinted away, giggling, i sorta lunged one of those small shovel, diggie, thingies into his face. it stuck cleanly into his head, but that's not what's funny. what's funny is, is that...hey, that's a crime. welcome to america. someone steals from you, and you go to jail, drunk off tequila.