Old Feelings

these words. sometimes, i forget how much i hate most ordinary things. the people that exist. the smell of a department store. the guy that greets you at Wal-mart when you're buying toilet paper and a frozen loaf of garlic bread. the old lady you smile at and say, "hi" to. the same old lady that frowns when you say, "hi," and smile at her. the same old lady you want to say to, "hi, i could break you in half. i'm smiling and greeting you, because i feel sorry for you." not so much now, though.
and that guy that gives me my hamburger through a small glass, folding window. hamburger guy smiles. hamburger guy looks at me in the same regard that i look at defenseless old ladies with. i hate hamburger guy, but he's smiling at me. "you have a great day as well, and i will come back," i seem to snarl. i guess i'm just an old lady with a shaved head wearing sneakers, hating hamburger people.